“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer” is what traditional wedding vows say.
Yet nearly one-third of married Americans admit that if they had the choice of walking down the aisle with their spouse again, they wouldn’t. This is according to a 2018 poll by research firm CivicScience.
No one said marriage was easy. It gets tougher as partners evolve, have children, grow careers, and navigate other life changes.
But before you visit https://rightlawyers.com/ to find yourself a good divorce attorney, know that there are many things you can do to reignite the spark. If you need some marriage help, read on for five things you can do to fall in love with your spouse all over again.
- Make Time For Dates
The same CivicScience study found that of those respondents who said they would marry their spouse over again, 59% said they and their partner went on regular dates. We tend to think that dating is something only single people do, but married couples may be wise to schedule time away from the kids and daily obligations and focus on having fun together for a few hours.
Think of some of the dates you went on before you were married to inspire you. Perhaps you both loved movies, bowling, hiking, or checking out the newest sushi restaurant in town.
Whatever your interests, resist the temptation to keep checking your phone while out on your date. This time should be about focusing on your partner and giving your full attention to them. You can set the mobile device to vibrate in case you’re concerned that the babysitter may need to contact you.
This one-on-one time allows you and your partner to catch up with one another and enjoy an activity together. And who knows—you may strengthen the bond so much you may wish to continue the date in the bedroom when you return home.
- Make Time For Sex and Affection
Sex gets pushed by the wayside once children, careers, and other obligations come on the scene. But it’s important to share some physical intimacy with your partner to release some stress, and give and receive pleasure. And yes, two busy schedules mean you may need to pencil in at least one night a week in your planner to do the wild thing.
Better yet, if your partner is the one always looking for sex, turn the tables by initiating it more often. 22% of heterosexual women in relationships rarely or never initiate sex. Doing it more often boosts your partner’s self-esteem and makes them feel desired.
And it doesn’t always have to be about intercourse. You and your partner should make an effort to kiss and hug each other daily to keep those endorphins flowing and to show the other person that you care. Cuddling on the sofa and rubbing each others’ feet counts, too.
If you’re both comfortable, try some public PDA as well. Be careful not to overdo it, as too much is considered an annoying thing that couples often do without realizing it.
- Make a Small Change to Make Them Happy
You don’t have to make a huge, life-altering change to please your spouse. Quite often, in marriages, it’s the small habits that cause the biggest irritations.
For example, if it drives your partner crazy when you leave the cap off the toothpaste tube or you have a habit of leaving toenail clippings on the floor, make the effort not to do these behaviors any longer. Making one or two small changes will get noticed by your spouse and restore some peace in your household.
- Let Them Know How Much You Appreciate Them
“I’m so proud of you that you got that promotion.” “I’m really grateful to have you in my life.” “I really appreciate that you helped me calm the kids down in the car yesterday.”
These lines sound like something you’d hear in a movie, but they’re more elusive in real life. Yet these words can make a world of difference when a marriage is going through shaky times.
Do you appreciate your spouse and the little things they do? Then let them know. This is about ignoring the negative and focusing on everything they do right and what makes you happy. Be grateful that you have a loving partner in your life because not everyone is so lucky.
- Fight Fair and Be Sure to Make Up
Arguments are pretty unavoidable when two people are living under the same roof. However, there are ways of communicating fairly without attacking the other person.
It’s better to express how your partner’s behavior makes you feel rather than pointing out what they’re doing wrong. For example, saying “I feel like I’m not important to you when you’re checking your phone all night in front of me” is a softer approach than screaming, “Put that (expletive) phone away already!”
You should always apologize and make up after a disagreement. Apologizing to each other and stating what you’ll do moving forward to make things smoother for the other person will keep your trust in one another strong.
These Five Marriage Help Tips Will Keep You Together For the Long Run
Marriage is a lot of work and a lot like a roller coaster ride with many highs and lows. However, knowing these five marriage help tips can help you and your partner get through the tougher times together and become stronger and better people in the process. Make the effort to incorporate these five tips into your relationship.